Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Batman Incorporated #1

Please, for the love of God, would somebody at DC stop letting Grant Morrison write Batman stories. Morrison resurects several of his Batman Incorporated supporting players and throws them haphazardly in the New 52 for the new (but not really improved) Batman Incorporated.

The issue starts with a group in animal masks mutilating livestock to lure Batman and Robin into the crosshairs of the assassin known as Goatboy. Sigh. Goatboy, it seems, has decided to cash in on the hit Leviathan has laid on young Damian.

Morrison gives us the Dead Heroes Club (Batwing, El Gaucho, The Hood, Wingman, and Halo) almost all of whom I didn't even know existed in the New 52 before now. He also gives us Dark Knight Returns mutants (for no more reason than he gave us Goatboy), and one hell of a bullshit ending even an newbie first-time comic book reader could call. Seriously, I can't believe Morrison went for such an obvious sleight of hand in the first issue of a new Bat-title where we know damn well nothing bad is going to happen to the Dynamic Duo.

Chris Burnham's art is a weird mix of Frank Miller and Frank Quitely that works in spots but doesn't really fit the story. As to when the story takes place that's a damn good question. It's obviously not occurring during Night of the Owls (which every single Bat-book is currently wrapped up in).

The Batman/Damian relationship seems to be pre-Nobody except Damian killing the villain is directly referred to. So does it take place some undetermined time in the future? Wait, I really, really don't care to know. I'm just going to try and forget I ever read it instead (which seems far easier than trying to make sense out of this mess). I'd say the New 52 has hit rock bottom, but I know they'll probably find a way to scrape the bottom of the barrel.

So, let me get this straight, we get crappy redesigns for Deadshot and Red Robin, Stephanie Brown, Catman and the rest of the Secret Six are still in limbo, but Halo and Morrison's fetish creations get to run free in the New 52. Fuck you for this DC. This issue, which is in the running for the worst Batman comic I've ever read, is the kind of shit that makes me want to stop reading comics all together. Pass.

[DC, $2.99]

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