Friday, August 18, 2006

Material Girls

I usually like nothing better than to rip a film like this to pieces, but this one is so bad that I actually became sorry for all those involved. Rather than pointing out the films poor acting, writing, production, and directing, I’d just like to offer everyone a great big hug and a shoulder for all involved to cry themselves back to sanity. Don’t worry; you’ll work again…probably.

The Marchetta sisters, Tanzie (Hilary Duff) and Ava (Haylie Duff), are heirs to a cosmetic fortune held in trust by their father’s best friend (Brent Spiner) after his death. They’re rich and spoiled, but are good natured, honest, nice and sweet.

Just days before receiving control of their company the girls get an offer to sell out to their competitor, Fabiella (Anjelica Huston). Shortly afterward news breaks on the troubling side effects of the new cosmetics put out by Marchetta, sending the girls on the run from the paparazzi.

Together with the help of a lawyer (Lukas Haas) and a scientist/valet (Marcus Coloma) the girls find happiness, despite the loss of their millions, and begin investigating the incident in order to recover their wealth and clear their father’s good name.

Where to begin? The movie feels like a made-for-TV after school special from the eighties. I didn’t know Brent Spiner and Anjelica Huston were so hard up for roles. I really hope they get back on their feet and are able to put food on the table with the checks from this film. I wonder if there’s a celebrity charity hotline I could call and offer them my help?

The film has a loose plot that revolves around the sisters getting into different kinds of trouble (the “humorous” not the dangerous kind), reconnecting with their housekeeper (Maria Conchita Alonso - Where have you been? It’s been long time since The Running Man). Nothing remarkable to talk about here; the hijinks of the girls are your usual B-sitcom variety.

This one’s not going on anybody’s resume. The more I watched the film the sadder I got for the Duff girls. Really, I wanted to advise them to burn every copy of this film. More than anything it shows the lack of range of both sisters, who might be at home on a TV screen or in a music video, but are sorely lacking the star power needed to carry a film (at least one that was seemingly written by thirteen year-old girls over lunch one dreary afternoon). Hopefully the film won’t lose too much money, and they’ll be able to get back their TV commercial jobs selling gum.

No comments: