Friday, February 1, 2008

Over Her Dead Body

“She was crushed by an angel, and, as sad as I am, I do appreciate the irony.”

How bad is it? The plot involves a psychic (Lake Bell) who lies to win the heart of a widower (Paul Rudd). And she’s the nice one!

How bad is it? The story begins with an annoying woman (Eva Longoria Parker) getting killed at her own wedding by a falling ice sculpture. The funny part? The ice sculpture might be an angel? Yeah, didn’t sound funny to me either.

How bad is it? The plot follows the brain-dead formula of your average romcom with forced craziness, cutesy dating, misunderstanding, and a lame resolution. All performed with minimal effort and talent.

How bad is it? Lindsay Sloane stars as Henry’s (Rudd) kleptomaniac pushy little sister whose antics we are supposed to find cute.

How bad is it? The ghost of the dead woman decides to haunt the psychic to make sure her former fiance lives out eternity alone and hopeless because, wait for it, she loves him so much.

How bad is it? Jason Biggs stars as the psychic/caterer’s (yeah, that’s not a strange combination) gay assistant and best friend. He’s a total klutz who gets himself into “hilarious” situations and harbors a dark secret. And I though Anything Else was hard to watch.

How bad is it? The film actually makes Eva Longoria unattractive, Paul Rudd unfunny, and Jason Biggs even more annoying than usual. You managed to hit the trifecta, Kudos to you writer/director Jeff Lowell!

How bad is it? Rudd has no chemistry with either woman, and both are so unlikable we begin to root for him to live a more fulfilling life alone and free of both of them for good.

How bad is it? This film makes 27 Dresses (read that review) look good!

How bad is it? The dialogue contains gems like Henry stating he gets the irony of his wife getting killed by an angel (the quote above), and Ashley (Bell) replying to a compliment of her dress with “It will look even better on the floor.” Wow. You know there’s bad and there’s not even trying.

How bad is it? The movie contains an extended fart joke that lasts for a full minute (though it seems much, much longer). And I thought Norbit was bad (read that review).

How bad is it? I checked my watch so often I think I dislocated my shoulder.

How bad is it? The best jokes of the film involve actors dropping animals (there are at least three of these scenes). I don’t know about you but I like my movies to shoot a bit higher than America’s Funniest Home Videos. And I’m not even going to get into the talking parrot scene (don’t ask). Seriously, I thought this was a joke and was waiting for Ashton Kutcher to show up and tell us we’d just all been Punk’d.

How bad is it? The film is filled with not quite right pop songs chosen and placed throughout the film with all the deftness of a Dawson’s Creek episode.

How bad is it? The credits aren’t as much a list of those who had a hand in making this film as they are a list of criminals who are all equally responsible for a crime against humanity.

This film is just plain bad. It contains no likable characters; Rudd comes the closest by playing the pathetic card for as much as he can, but we don’t really care what happens to any of these people. Well that’s not quite true, mostly we’re hoping they all meet tragic and painful deaths, and the film will end before taking up one more moment of our lives. I honestly don’t understand how someone could hate film to such an extent as to permanently brand this movie on it for all eternity. I hope with all my being this is the worst film I see this year. Honestly I can’t think of how you could make a worse film, but I have faith in Hollywood to try their best.

No comments: