Snow White and the Seven Samurai

The Asylum's 2024 mockbuster Snow White and the Seven Samurai is odd little low budget, straight-to-video, flick that seems to exist only because both Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and Seven Samurai have the number 7 in the title. Fiona Dorn "stars" as the daughter of a mobster (Eric Roberts) known for his heavy cocaine distribution (earing her the nickname Snow White - despite no one actually calling her that).

There are aspects of Snow White (and to a far lesser extent Seven Samurai) that are incorporated into the mashup, albeit with not much success due both to the questionable writing and limited acting we see on-screen. Had the film leaned into how silly the premise is, and gone for more of an over-the-top low-budget action-comedy, it might have had a chance at being at least passable.

When Anya is left everything in her father's will, her evil stepmother (Gina Vitori) hires an assassin (Rampage Jackson), or hunter if you will, to kill the girl in order to inherit all her husband's money and influence. Left for dead, Anya is found, rescued, and trained by seven female samurai (led by Sunny Tellone) through a variety of montages before leading them on a suicide mission to get justice for her father.

The film also has a subplot between the internal warring between Anya's stepmother and his father's three business partners who have no interest in sharing their power with such an untrustworthy loose cannon. We also get a late twist (that doesn't lead to much), and some adequate (if hardly exceptional) fight sequences with almost all of the film shot in the two locations of Anya's mansion and the samurai's training facility.

Snow White and the Seven Samurai is exactly the cheap throwaway action flick you expect with any familiar faces in only small supporting roles to pick up a quick paycheck and the bulk of the work to carry the film thrown on shoulders of actors ill-prepared to do so. Not silly or bad enough to be unintentionally funny (or even funny at all), the film lacks any reasonable stakes for the audience to take is seriously as well.

• Title: Snow White and the Seven Samurai
• IMDb: link