Friday, August 18, 2017

The Hitman's Bodyguard

When searching for something, anything, positive to say about a bad movie you can almost always fall back on "Well, at least it was in focus." Sadly, I can't even offer that most basic of compliments to The Hitman's Bodyguard in which any strong ambient light destroys the focus of the shot, highlighting characters in a fuzzy glow while blurring out the entire background in a bizarrely amateurish manner.

Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson star in an uninspired buddy comedy about a once-proud bodyguard and his newest client, a man who has attempted to kill him on numerous occasions, who he needs to deliver in time to testify against a bland movie villain (Gary Oldman) for reasons that only makes sense in a script where things explode for no reason whatsoever.

Although there are some minor chuckles to be had (mostly from the pair adlibbing), and one strong chase sequence around the canals of Amsterdam, The Hitman's Bodyguard is an uninspired mess featuring two actors screaming at each other for the better part of two hours.

Everything about the movie is cliched and tired including the subplot of the bodyguard's relationship with his ex-girlfriend (Elodie Yung) and the love the hitman feels for his incarcerated wife (Salma Hayek). And guess what? The two enemies bond while on the run finding respect for each other (while ripping off countless films you would rather be watching).

Even for a throwaway B-movie, the script by Tom O'Connor is filled with some mind-numbingly bad plot holes (like the characters just happening to meet up after both complete their own action sequences blocks away from each other). Honestly had the film been in focus for its entire running time, I'm not sure if it would have easier or harder to watch. Reynolds (who was obviously given notes to Deadpool things up with as many quips as possible) and Jackson (doing the same old shtick) may be having a pretty good time enjoying themselves, but I'm unsure of who exactly is going to enjoy the finished project on film other than the less-discerning friends and family of director Patrick Hughes.

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